The Case of the Christmas Cookies!! :(

Oh where do I begin with this one. I'll start by saying, I successfully completed the whole30 cheat free while feeling (and looking) great! I said to myself that I would keep the momentum going for as long as I could even when I was home for Christmas. My one cup of eggnog hit the spot and I was done with it. However, unfortunately, it didn't end there. I got sucked in by the sugar storm and for four days my diet went from really good and really clean to really bad and almost entirely filled with sugar. I had cookies, caramel popcorn, cranberry spice bread, trifle, ice cream, chocolate milk...ugh, I'm so disappointed in myself. It was tough because I was surrounded by this. I was starving on Friday and rather take the time to make a healthy lunch, or snack on fruit until we had dinner, I ate handfuls and handfuls of caramel popcorn and M&Ms. It was there, it was good, and I couldn't stop eating it. What was I thinking? I went from 0-60 in a matter of minutes. Needless to say, I was paying...er....I am paying for the damage I had done. I'm tired, I've had a headache since Friday, I look squishy, and I haven't weighed myself but I'm pretty sure I put on about 6 or 7lbs. Lbs that I had worked so hard at keeping off. Disappointment doesn't even to begin to describe how I feel. I almost didn't want to show up to work today because I was scared people would see me and think "wow, Becca put some holiday weight on!". I'm not trying to jump on the new years resolution wagon, but I am trying to get back to where I was before I went home for Christmas. No sugar is where I'm starting. I have a few non-whole30 items in my fridge that I can't afford to waste (Coconut Chocolate Milk, coconut creamer....). But once those items are gone, it's back to the whole30 for me. I am also going to try a new shake/meal replacement for a while just to try and help drop off this sugar weight. I was feeling so good, and looking really good, and I was so proud of myself for not cheating. We all make mistakes and we all fall down, but I will use this blog post to remind me to get back up and start over again. Beginnings are always hard, but without them we wouldn't get anywhere!

Home Stretch! Literally and Figuratively!

As I enter my last week of the whole30 I realize this is more than just the end of my clean eating challenge and "re-boot". This is the home stretch of what seemed like a month of exhaustion, frustration, hard work, and commitment to staying on track. I have 6 more days at the call center and 8 more days of the whole30. Wrapping up my time at LLBean is the most exciting feeling because it puts me on the precipice of some really great things--right before Christmas and seeing my family, but also ending a long streak of working 80hr weeks to try and save money for my big move to North Carolina! I am so excited for all the good things that await at the end of this month that I could just burst into pieces of happiness! I'm excited to start feeling human again and really dedicate myself to having a successful last 3 weeks in Maine. I can finally get back to some normalcy and possibly have a social life again!  With the whole30 coming to an end, I almost feel the opposite. I am nervous to be set free from the restrictions of this diet because I am finally starting to physically see the results of my hard work (and other people are too!) Even Stephen noticed I look thinner which means a lot to me! I feel great from the inside out which is really important considering most of my days are stressful and sleep deprived. I feel if it wasn't for the whole30 I probably would've never made it out of the streak of work alive! I am going to hold on to this feel for as long as I possibly can. The goal to lose weight is never ending with me and I want to hold on to this satisfying feeling long after I'm done with the whole30. I will refer back to this blog for help when I start eyeing those chemical bars that are 5/$5....you know what I'm talking about...those "energy bars" which are more like candy bars? I'm a sucker for the s'more flavored balance bar and I have tendency to pass it off as "okay because it's a meal replacement bar". So not okay. I know that whole30 eating is not sustainable so I'm sure there will be slip ups and downfalls and unhealthy eating, but the important thing is to not go so far off track that this whole month becomes a wash and I'm right back to where I started. Looking back it seems like it's been a long month but once again, here I sit, looking forward to my last week or so of a very crazy time in my life. As I count down the days to the weekend, I can only smile because without the rain, sunny days wouldn't be as pretty. Without the stress and frustration, time spent relaxing and enjoying company wouldn't feel as good. Until next time, finish strong and I'll see you at the finish line!

I am hungry!

Okay, so here I am feeling good about my whole30 when suddenly hunger hits me hard. I've done some vigorous exercise today so my metabolism is probably in high gear. The problem is, I've already had the food I prepared for myself today! Breakfast shake and an apple in the morning, larabar and a banana for a post swim snack, mixed nuts and an orange for a post group kick snack, spaghetti squash/carrots/and almond butter for lunch. I mean, what more can I eat without over doing it on fiber? I have two hard boiled eggs and another apple for dinner (Which isn't much of a dinner but when you're eating in the car on the way to job#2 you have to be selective). I just feel like lately I've only been eating nuts, fruit, tuna, eggs, and larabars. Now that I'm hungry what am I supposed to do? I can't double up on nuts because that's too much fat! I can't double up on fruit because that's too many calories. I can't double up on veggies because then I feel bloated and gassy! Also, I can't just snack on eggs and tuna, those items are reserved for my meals. I tried to eat consistently throughout the day today to feel satisfied but here I am, an hour before I have another class to teach I'm ready to rip open another larabar. This is the part of the whole30 when it gets tricky. I'm running off of the same foods but I'm finding that I'm not staying full. I guess Coconut Cream is my option...I just hate to have two larabars in one day when I already feel like I've eaten so much. I mean truly, look at my diet today. Shake, Apple, Larabar, Banana, Orange, Nuts, Carrots, Almond Butter, Spaghetti Squash w/ 1/2 turkey sausage. I guess I could eat my eggs now because I'm realizing I'm lacking major protein. Suppose it's an apple and black coffee for dinner tonight :/ Oi vey.

Day 16, we're half way there!

Earlier today I was thinking "Damn, there is so much whole30 left to do!" As much as I am enjoying this go-around, I feel like the days are creeping by. However, after counting the days from November 23rd when we started, we're already at day 16! How exciting! I'm feeling really good and today I received a compliment from a woman in one of my group fitness classes. She said I looked like I had lost weight; which I don't know if that's a compliment or not but it made me feel good because I feel like I AM losing weight. Last night I had a crazy stomach pains and was way bloated and gassy. I may have over done it on the fiber because yesterday I mostly ate fruit and sweet potatoes (poor planning on my part). It felt like a rock in the bottom of my stomach. Either way, feeling better today. I'm happy to report that I have felt no urge to cheat or stray from whole30 compliant foods. Which is surprising because in previous whole30ies I slipped up once or twice. I think I'm just keeping my eye on the prize and really tapping into how I'm feeling. I'm trying to program my mind to tell my body "You feel really good without eating terrible food, so why stop now?" Still, I'm looking forward to my one cup of eggnog and a couple of my dad's famous Christmas cookies, but I am going to try my hardest to not stray too much once the whole30 is over and I go home for Christmas. I'm really happy with my clean eating habits so I truly shouldn't have a reason to cock it up too badly! Here's to the next 14 days...two weeks! Whoa!!!

Survived Thanksgiving!

Happy to report that I am officially done with the first week of the Whole30 and I did it cheat free! Thanksgiving was a lot easier to resist temptation than I thought it would be. Perhaps it helped that the dessert table was far away from me so I could not see the sweet, creamy, flavorful pies sitting next to a giant bowl of homemade whip cream. I stuck to whole30 compliant foods and may have over done it on the mashed sweet potato's but hey, I still give myself kudos for not breaking in the eyes of temptation. Holiday meals aside, I'm doing quite well. I feel good and I'm enjoying the challenge this time around. I'm having a hard time drinking black coffee so I've been sticking with tea for the most part instead. As always, I expect instant results so when I look in the mirror and still see my love handles, or still see some jiggle to my arms and legs my brain instantly goes "this whole30 is doing nothing for me!" But again, I know these things take time and I also know that my expectations of the results far exceed the truth. The truth is I will always have this body, and a size 4 might never happen for me, and I'll never get to be below 150lbs and stay there, but I can at least try to feel good about the way I look and continue to live a healthy lifestyle. Stay on track with high proteins, good fats, and less carbs and sugar. Too often I get off the whole30 and instantly dive back into eating poorly again. This time around, I'd like to make these healthy habits stick. On that note, I'm happy to end on a positive one! Thanksgiving was full of turkey, veggies, mashed sweet potatoes and I'm still on track and feeling good! Only 23 more days to go!!

Eat a Good Breakfast, You Fool!

After reading yesterday's post I realized that I am not getting a very good breakfast in to start my day with. A large apple? Really? Might as well nix the coffee and just pop a diuretic while I'm at it! One of the pillars that the Whole30 stands on is eating good, nutrient dense food. It's okay to eat a larger meal if that meal is comprised of healthy ingredients and has balance. I need to stop obsessing over calories and start looking at what will fuel my body for me! It's no wonder by the time I get home from work I'm starving! Today I tried a different approach, I actually added eggs into my breakfast with the hopes that protein will keep me full longer. I don't have as busy of a workout routine today, but I'll still be hitting up the pool so I'll need energy none the less!

Yesterday, however, I did feel successful. I made sure I had healthy snacks throughout the day and a protein full lunch. I had a heavy day exercise wise: 35 minute lap swim, 1 hour of Group Kick, 30 minutes of Group Core, and 45 minutes of TRX. Speaking of TRX, I really love it! I only do it once a week but it's awesome!

One of the biggest things I hope to let go of during the whole30, and post whole30 too, is to stop comparing myself to others. I always get hung up on how my body looks compared to the girl in the weight room doing push ups or power cleans. I always compare myself to my best friend who used to weigh as much as me and then somehow dropped 20lbs and manages to keep it off! I need to lock it in my mind that every BODY is different and that mine is pretty kick ass too. I mean, I'm very strong, I've got arms more defined than some of the guys I know, and my tookus ain't lookin' too bad either ;) I need to start embracing my body and what it can do. I'm strong, I've got great endurance, and this body has taken me so many places and has accomplished so many great things. I mean, a full mile of burpees? How many people have done that in their lifetime?! Walk the 100 mile wilderness in 3 days? The list goes on of the physical achievements in my life. Moral of the story, stop being so hard on yourself Becca. Muscle is beautiful and strength is divine!

Beginnings are Always a Little Tricky...

I would say that Day 1 was successful. My diet was:

Breakfast: Large Apple, Black Coffee
Lunch: Tuna, Avocado, Mixed Nuts, and a small apple
Snacks: Larabar, banana, and a small fruit cup
Dinner: Seasoned Chicken, Cauliflower Rice, Peppers, Onions, and Carrots

My exercises were:

Group Power
R30
Group Kick
Total time: 2hrs and 25mins

I feel good but this is just the beginning. It's easy to go into the Whole30 feeling strong but it is honestly the last week or so that I start get a little weak. I have a heavy exercise schedule because of the classes I teach so I need to make sure I'm eating enough for my body, but not over eating so that I can lose weight. I try not to feel bad about snacking so much because I burn some major calories during the day and I cannot teach on an empty stomach. Today I'm still feeling good but I'm one of those people who wants instant results. Because I did well yesterday I feel like I should already be down 5lbs even though I know that's not how it works. I'm going to keep moving forward and get this first week under my belt. They always say the first 9 days are the toughest to push through....until next time!!

An Unconventional starting day on November 23rd

My sister Brittany started a blog to report on her Whole30 so it would seem I'm following in my older sister's footsteps. (Once a copy cat always a copy cat, right!?) I've lost count on how many Whole30s I've done and while some were more successful than others, I'm entering this one with a very superficial goal: to lose weight. I don't have much of a backstory other than all I want to do is lose 15lbs before moving to North Carolina. I live a very active lifestyle and for the most part my diet is already pretty clean but I am not satisfied. I feel great, now I want to look great. Like I said, it's rather superficial. I will say, I'm looking forward to the Whole30 to tighten up some things that had gotten a little loose over the last few weeks. Sneaking in more sweets than I should be, having a few too many glasses of hard cider, adding a little too much cream to my coffee...you get the idea. This particular Whole30 will be difficult because as I said in my title, I've started it at a not so ideal time. With 4 days away from Thanksgiving and smack dab at the start of the holiday season--food is going to be everywhere! I will probably face some pretty hard temptations but all the more reason for me to be doing the Whole30. I will end just before Christmas Eve making Christmas even more worry free than I hope it will be. It will make my dad's famous homemade Christmas cookies taste that much better, and will make my one cup of eggnog that much more enjoyable. It will be a tough 30 days but with every Whole30 there is one line that I keep going back to -It's ONLY 30 days. I can do this, I've done it before and I'll do it again. This time, I plan to be successful. I doubt I will drop all 15lbs in one month and I plan to be as far away from the scale as possible until the very end of my Whole30, but I'd like to see a noticeable difference in my weight. Until next time...happy Whole30!

 I don't have a super recent picture of me, but this is me in September. Doesn't seem like I have a lot of weight to lose but I wouldn't mind dropping a few lbs and shaving off a few inches.