Enjoying the Ride a Little While Longer...

Last week I made the decision to pause my second go around of the whole30 after realizing that my time in Maine was short, and I wanted to throw caution to the wind. (As cheesy as that sounds!). I'm glad I did, even though I feel like I put myself right back to where I started and I certainly do not look as good as I did when I was full on whole30-ing, I'm having fun indulging in my favorite places to eat one more time before I move. My sisters and I will be doing a whole30 on the 19th so I won't let myself go completely, and with the exception of going out to dinner my meals are still very clean and about 85% paleo. I'm trying not to stress too bad about it. Life is too short, and I still make healthy choices for myself. It's hard when your surrounded by media and people trying to make you feel bad for NOT doing a whole30 or NOT eating paleo 100% of the time. But, screw them. This is my life.

::Steps off of soap box::

Anywho, one more week til the big move! Looking forward to what is ahead!

4 Days In and Having Second Thoughts....

It is probably the wrong time of the year for me to jumping back to a whole30 because I am moving to a new state in two weeks and there is so much of Maine I want to try before I leave! A new brewery just opened up down the street from me, a fabulous sandwich place has been on my list of eateries for months now, and I'm dying for my favorite muffin from my favorite café that I'll never get to eat at again! Last night, a couple who took me and Stephen out to dinner had a beer waiting for me when I got to the restaurant (From the new brewery too!). I didn't want to be rude and I never want to be one of "those people" so I indulged and drank it. Let me tell you, it was delicious. I'm not a huge beer person and I didn't really miss it while I was doing the previous whole30 but this particular beer was good! Light, drinkable, and something I probably would've ordered myself! While I was out on my frigid run this morning, I did some thinking. While a big chunk of the population is doing the whole30 now, I know if I hold off a couple of weeks I will still have support from the clean eating community. AND, my sisters are planning a mid-January whole30 that I can easily get in on. I just am having some second thoughts about diving head first into ANOTHER whole30 at this current time. I was fired up and filled with angst after the holiday because of my poor eating choices, but being that I have two weeks left in this wonderful state filled with good and wholesome places to eat, I say dare the whole30 gods for a bit until I move. I don't plan to get fast food or stuff my face with cookies, but if I want to have lunch at my favorite café and order a fairly healthy but non-whole30 sandwich, I think I shall. I might sit on this for a bit before I completely jump off, but the beauty of life is that there are always so many avenues and options before you. Sigh.

The Case of the Christmas Cookies!! :(

Oh where do I begin with this one. I'll start by saying, I successfully completed the whole30 cheat free while feeling (and looking) great! I said to myself that I would keep the momentum going for as long as I could even when I was home for Christmas. My one cup of eggnog hit the spot and I was done with it. However, unfortunately, it didn't end there. I got sucked in by the sugar storm and for four days my diet went from really good and really clean to really bad and almost entirely filled with sugar. I had cookies, caramel popcorn, cranberry spice bread, trifle, ice cream, chocolate milk...ugh, I'm so disappointed in myself. It was tough because I was surrounded by this. I was starving on Friday and rather take the time to make a healthy lunch, or snack on fruit until we had dinner, I ate handfuls and handfuls of caramel popcorn and M&Ms. It was there, it was good, and I couldn't stop eating it. What was I thinking? I went from 0-60 in a matter of minutes. Needless to say, I was paying...er....I am paying for the damage I had done. I'm tired, I've had a headache since Friday, I look squishy, and I haven't weighed myself but I'm pretty sure I put on about 6 or 7lbs. Lbs that I had worked so hard at keeping off. Disappointment doesn't even to begin to describe how I feel. I almost didn't want to show up to work today because I was scared people would see me and think "wow, Becca put some holiday weight on!". I'm not trying to jump on the new years resolution wagon, but I am trying to get back to where I was before I went home for Christmas. No sugar is where I'm starting. I have a few non-whole30 items in my fridge that I can't afford to waste (Coconut Chocolate Milk, coconut creamer....). But once those items are gone, it's back to the whole30 for me. I am also going to try a new shake/meal replacement for a while just to try and help drop off this sugar weight. I was feeling so good, and looking really good, and I was so proud of myself for not cheating. We all make mistakes and we all fall down, but I will use this blog post to remind me to get back up and start over again. Beginnings are always hard, but without them we wouldn't get anywhere!

Home Stretch! Literally and Figuratively!

As I enter my last week of the whole30 I realize this is more than just the end of my clean eating challenge and "re-boot". This is the home stretch of what seemed like a month of exhaustion, frustration, hard work, and commitment to staying on track. I have 6 more days at the call center and 8 more days of the whole30. Wrapping up my time at LLBean is the most exciting feeling because it puts me on the precipice of some really great things--right before Christmas and seeing my family, but also ending a long streak of working 80hr weeks to try and save money for my big move to North Carolina! I am so excited for all the good things that await at the end of this month that I could just burst into pieces of happiness! I'm excited to start feeling human again and really dedicate myself to having a successful last 3 weeks in Maine. I can finally get back to some normalcy and possibly have a social life again!  With the whole30 coming to an end, I almost feel the opposite. I am nervous to be set free from the restrictions of this diet because I am finally starting to physically see the results of my hard work (and other people are too!) Even Stephen noticed I look thinner which means a lot to me! I feel great from the inside out which is really important considering most of my days are stressful and sleep deprived. I feel if it wasn't for the whole30 I probably would've never made it out of the streak of work alive! I am going to hold on to this feel for as long as I possibly can. The goal to lose weight is never ending with me and I want to hold on to this satisfying feeling long after I'm done with the whole30. I will refer back to this blog for help when I start eyeing those chemical bars that are 5/$5....you know what I'm talking about...those "energy bars" which are more like candy bars? I'm a sucker for the s'more flavored balance bar and I have tendency to pass it off as "okay because it's a meal replacement bar". So not okay. I know that whole30 eating is not sustainable so I'm sure there will be slip ups and downfalls and unhealthy eating, but the important thing is to not go so far off track that this whole month becomes a wash and I'm right back to where I started. Looking back it seems like it's been a long month but once again, here I sit, looking forward to my last week or so of a very crazy time in my life. As I count down the days to the weekend, I can only smile because without the rain, sunny days wouldn't be as pretty. Without the stress and frustration, time spent relaxing and enjoying company wouldn't feel as good. Until next time, finish strong and I'll see you at the finish line!

I am hungry!

Okay, so here I am feeling good about my whole30 when suddenly hunger hits me hard. I've done some vigorous exercise today so my metabolism is probably in high gear. The problem is, I've already had the food I prepared for myself today! Breakfast shake and an apple in the morning, larabar and a banana for a post swim snack, mixed nuts and an orange for a post group kick snack, spaghetti squash/carrots/and almond butter for lunch. I mean, what more can I eat without over doing it on fiber? I have two hard boiled eggs and another apple for dinner (Which isn't much of a dinner but when you're eating in the car on the way to job#2 you have to be selective). I just feel like lately I've only been eating nuts, fruit, tuna, eggs, and larabars. Now that I'm hungry what am I supposed to do? I can't double up on nuts because that's too much fat! I can't double up on fruit because that's too many calories. I can't double up on veggies because then I feel bloated and gassy! Also, I can't just snack on eggs and tuna, those items are reserved for my meals. I tried to eat consistently throughout the day today to feel satisfied but here I am, an hour before I have another class to teach I'm ready to rip open another larabar. This is the part of the whole30 when it gets tricky. I'm running off of the same foods but I'm finding that I'm not staying full. I guess Coconut Cream is my option...I just hate to have two larabars in one day when I already feel like I've eaten so much. I mean truly, look at my diet today. Shake, Apple, Larabar, Banana, Orange, Nuts, Carrots, Almond Butter, Spaghetti Squash w/ 1/2 turkey sausage. I guess I could eat my eggs now because I'm realizing I'm lacking major protein. Suppose it's an apple and black coffee for dinner tonight :/ Oi vey.

Day 16, we're half way there!

Earlier today I was thinking "Damn, there is so much whole30 left to do!" As much as I am enjoying this go-around, I feel like the days are creeping by. However, after counting the days from November 23rd when we started, we're already at day 16! How exciting! I'm feeling really good and today I received a compliment from a woman in one of my group fitness classes. She said I looked like I had lost weight; which I don't know if that's a compliment or not but it made me feel good because I feel like I AM losing weight. Last night I had a crazy stomach pains and was way bloated and gassy. I may have over done it on the fiber because yesterday I mostly ate fruit and sweet potatoes (poor planning on my part). It felt like a rock in the bottom of my stomach. Either way, feeling better today. I'm happy to report that I have felt no urge to cheat or stray from whole30 compliant foods. Which is surprising because in previous whole30ies I slipped up once or twice. I think I'm just keeping my eye on the prize and really tapping into how I'm feeling. I'm trying to program my mind to tell my body "You feel really good without eating terrible food, so why stop now?" Still, I'm looking forward to my one cup of eggnog and a couple of my dad's famous Christmas cookies, but I am going to try my hardest to not stray too much once the whole30 is over and I go home for Christmas. I'm really happy with my clean eating habits so I truly shouldn't have a reason to cock it up too badly! Here's to the next 14 days...two weeks! Whoa!!!

Survived Thanksgiving!

Happy to report that I am officially done with the first week of the Whole30 and I did it cheat free! Thanksgiving was a lot easier to resist temptation than I thought it would be. Perhaps it helped that the dessert table was far away from me so I could not see the sweet, creamy, flavorful pies sitting next to a giant bowl of homemade whip cream. I stuck to whole30 compliant foods and may have over done it on the mashed sweet potato's but hey, I still give myself kudos for not breaking in the eyes of temptation. Holiday meals aside, I'm doing quite well. I feel good and I'm enjoying the challenge this time around. I'm having a hard time drinking black coffee so I've been sticking with tea for the most part instead. As always, I expect instant results so when I look in the mirror and still see my love handles, or still see some jiggle to my arms and legs my brain instantly goes "this whole30 is doing nothing for me!" But again, I know these things take time and I also know that my expectations of the results far exceed the truth. The truth is I will always have this body, and a size 4 might never happen for me, and I'll never get to be below 150lbs and stay there, but I can at least try to feel good about the way I look and continue to live a healthy lifestyle. Stay on track with high proteins, good fats, and less carbs and sugar. Too often I get off the whole30 and instantly dive back into eating poorly again. This time around, I'd like to make these healthy habits stick. On that note, I'm happy to end on a positive one! Thanksgiving was full of turkey, veggies, mashed sweet potatoes and I'm still on track and feeling good! Only 23 more days to go!!